Facing the unwanted

Looking from the outside, people see an adventurous girl, living the dream, travelling all over. Sure, they occasionally read or hear about disappointments and struggles, but she must be leading the best life. She’s following her dream. “I wish I could do that” is a thing I regularly hear. News flash: you can!

But this life, although amazing, can at times be hollow, shallow and lonely. I love hearing news from home. I love hearing that my friend is getting married. That my other friend is having a baby. That several friends have bought houses and are settling down. I love hearing that they went to an awesome party together. I love hearing from these people, who say that sometimes they wish they could do what I’m doing.

But I am a bit embarrassed to admit that, even though thankfully my first feeling is happiness for them, a deep sense of jealousy gets hold of me. I want what they have, more then anything in the world, what I want is that love. How can a girl with such an adventurous life be jealous of settled life? It all comes down to love and having love close by.


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